December Sky- "Hands of God?" ; Lady's Island, SC

 Depressions stink.
 They stink out loud, even. I've been through a few. Some worse than others. Even ended up in  the hospital as a result of a few. They just come on out of nowhere at times. Sometimes for day, months, sometimes for an hour or so. I can't explain it, and I don't claim those as an excuse for any of my actions.
 Early December, 2010
Sitting at the house, 5 hours from home, hadn't been in touch with anyone for quite a while. I knew I was in a downward spiral. It had put me in the hospital in Beaufort just a week or so prior, and me, being the hard headed son of bitch I am, got out of the hospital bed, walked out past the nurses desk, out into the lot, got in the car, and drove home. Still had the IV input in my left elbow. I kinda figured, what was the point. ...."Been down THAT road before"......That was my look at it.
 If you've ever been through one, you know how much of a balancing act it can be. You're essentially 'dead inside', but you don't want anyone to know. You put on that 'show'...a brave face, if you will.
It's a juggling act. It's tough, real tough. You start to over anylize everything. Every word, every action, every gesture from others. And then you start to anylize yourself: Where you're going, where you've been, accomplishments, if any....and disappointments. That to me was what I seemed to dwell on.
 Not disappointments in my life, but what a disappointment my life had become. Finding the time to be alone and just fall apart was hard. I didn't want to do it at all, but I knew I had to at some point. Just get that emotional rush over with, and maybe afterward, I may feel a little better.

I walked outside on morning to smoke a cigarette. I liked to listen to the squirrels and the rest of nature right there around the house. That and dodge the never ending barrage of acorns that fell from the trees..hehe
 I looked up in the sky toward town, and there it was. I had never witnessed anything like this before in my life, and to this day I never have.
 We didnt live close to an airport, or any flight lines, so planes couldn't have made these.

 At first i didnt think alot about it, but I had this overwhelming sense of warmth, and security. It was like someone spoke directly to my soul and told me that everything was going to be alright.

This was the shot of the same, from the driveway. These were so uniform. I couldn't take my eyes off of the horizon for anything. All I could do was watch in awe

I have no doubt that God himself did this. Maybe not just for me, but still to tell me that he was there, and that I had nothing to worry about, that everything, including myself, my life, was in his hands. It was an awesome experience. No I'm not preaching here, but all I can say is that this gave me hope, and changed my outlook on my existance. Yeah, I may get a little down at times, and yeah, I can be a little over opinionated and such, but as far as having any issues in my life that will ever lead me to that aweful threshold that it did before I left Myrtle Beach, they have all be put aside. I know there's a plan. I know I'm being watched. I know the good lord has got my back when I need it, but most of all, at a time when you couldn't have convinced me otherwise, I knew I was, in fact, loved.